Stress Management Tips for Busy People

Sure, we’d all be calm if we spent our life sitting in meditation in the Himalayas. But life isn’t that.

We’re asked to multi-task, think clearly and thrive amidst long, full days. We’re asked to fluidly process the constantly arising emotions within us (in an ideal world) while simultaneously caring for the emotional needs of our loved ones. That’s a lot! No wonder staying calm may look like Oz at the end of a foggy yellow brick road.

It’s possible. Yes- you can be calm and stress less without having to visit a distant land. Navigate life like a pro.

Breathe

Consciously. Deeply. Breathe always–whether you’re driving, talking on the phone, texting or horseback riding. Get it? During our writing exercises, my teacher Ana Forrest used to ask us, “Can you write and breath?” Yes I can! So now I ask you “Can you _______ and breathe?”

Deep breathing sends a message to your brain, nervous and endocrine system that everything is A-OK. No matter how stressful of a situation you’re in, if you can breathe deeply, you will powerfully mitigate the effects of stress. Freebee bonus (we love freebees!) : you’ll think more clearly, experience less overwhelm, be more emotionally stable and less reactive, and even feel happier (that’s my experience). It’s what you’d call a really good deal.

Practice deep breathing or meditation for a minimum of 10 minutes a day, preferably seated. Throughout your day breathe consciously. Make post-it reminder notes for yourself and place them everywhere to help you form this new habit.

Say No

Simplify your life. You don’t always need to sign yourself up for a full plate. In our society that values doing and accomplishment, there is often a feeling that the more you do, the more worthwhile and successful a person you are. It a fake out! Don’t buy into it! You are enough just as you are.

Say no to commitments that feel overwhelming or you truly don’t want to commit to. Rebel against any beliefs that you need to be a martyr or that you’re somehow worth less as a human being if you don’t say yes to everything.

Sometimes we get stuck in the responsibilities of life and simplifying sounds like an unsolvable enigma. If this is you, please do not quit prematurely. Instead do this exercise.

Take an hour of peace and quiet to closely examine how and where you spend your time. It may be easiest to look at your calendar. What is essential? What is not essential? If something is not essential but you enjoy doing it, weigh in whether you are actually gaining more by doing that activity. Think in terms of simplifying. Even small changes make a huge impact.

Be Present

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing be there. It’s your life. If you’re not present in your life, who will be? One of my patients who was working on being more present, told me about how she made the choice to sit and watch her daughter’s soccer practice for 30 minutes rather than racing home to start dinner and drive back again to pick her up. She watched the sunset and enjoyed the beauty of nature. Sure dinner was a few minutes late but big schmeal? She was calmer, happier and had more patience to help her daughter with her homework that night.

Think about a time in your life when you were 100% present. Maybe it was a special moment with a loved one, or a time that you heard good or bad news. How incredibly full and luscious was that moment?

The easiest way to be present is to consciously breathe. If you are deep breathing you are automatically present because your body, mind and spirit are all hooked up and in sync. Once you get breathing, become mindful of your surroundings. Use your senses. What do you feel? Is part of your body touching a chair, a seat or the earth? Become aware of those sensations. Taking it a step further. What do you see? What do you hear? Each time your drift out of the present and into your head full of thoughts, bring yourself back.

Unplug it

Distraction from the present moment is more available to us than ever before. It’s in your pocket or your purse, or even on your wrist. Sometimes checking our devices is absolutely necessary. But how about all the other moments where you’re casually browsing social media or incessantly checking your text messages?

Track your desire to distract yourself. Is unnecessary, frequent use of devices bringing you joy and fulfillment? Or is it yanking you out of the present moment and actually causing more stress?

Get out of autopilot. Be disciplined. Each time you feel the instinct to check your phone, breathe and get present (see above) instead. Check in and see why you’re feeling the instinct to distract yourself. Did uncomfortable feelings just come up? Why are you having trouble being present? There’s almost always a reason. Ask the important questions= get important answers. This is how we heal and grow.